The Colonel had a dream. He wasn’t even a colonel yet when a Dream appeared in his life. Back then it was hardly the Dream – it was rather an uncertain sensation growing stronger day by day.

The Colonel’s first aspirations might seem inconsistent. He sought peaceful life, simple solutions, predictability. He needed no drama in his life and bewared of running ventures or untying tangled knots. He escaped the feeling of walking a tightrope – the young man was more inclined to routine bureaucratic career. But he felt something was missing in that flat routine job. He longed for something full-fledged.

And here comes what might seem inconsistent – when determining his future career the young man chose secret service. There is nothing less predictable, safe and routine to be thought of than a life of a secret agent, one will evenly observe. But the young man had his reason and intuitive insight: it turned out that secret service and secret police was nearly the same bureaucratic routine as any other governmental agency with one significant exception – it gave opportunity to learn more about life and opened new horizons unlike other office work.

So, the young man took the correct path. He didn’t get right out of way into the maelstrom of secret operations but was sent to a quiet provincial hover where his career developed with hardly any trouble at all. The young bureaucrat happened to serve the Great Empire that stretched its influence over one third of the globe having its allies and foes. But while many of those serving the Empire fought bloody wars in trouble spots of the world, roamed the jungles and deserts risking their lives, our young bureaucrat found himself in a small and cozy European town left alone by the Empire’s external foes as well as by his immediate commanders. And yes, this experience gave our hero the first approximation to the life he was dreaming about. This seems to be his first step towards The Dream when he began to connect The Ethereal Dream with practically achievable goals.

Cozy European province astonished the young man. Not only did he practice to perfection the language of the country but was eager to assimilate mores and habits of the local residents, mild law-abiding people whose higher priorities were honest work and comfortable home. In the evenings they savored tasty beer, at times they even sang and their songs could be pretty loud. But invariably they kept a civil tongue and staying within the bounds of decency went home before eleven.

Our hero got married in his “salad days”.  He has always been rather reserved about his family life, but for all that has never given cause for labeling him as a scandalous lady-killer. Meanwhile, his career gradually developed against stable social background – the young man was luckily promoted to the post of major and after a little while became colonel. Our hero felt the “service resource” was depleted. He finally had a clear vision of The Dream and here it was nigh at hand – the colonel wanted to take up an executive post in some European corporation. Little cozy villa, stable salary, worthful place for decent life – that’s what the colonel dreamed about. But the dream of peaceful life crashed against the rocky nature of the Empire – it didn’t want to just let go its servant.

Luckily for the Colonel the time of Great Change was right around the corner, and though many of his native countrymen suffered and got perished in the vortex of those tragic events, for our hero it was another chance to change his career – he left intelligence for municipal service in his native town.

His new colleagues waking or sleeping were busy robbing what was left of the Empire. Those venturing too far got killed in sequent redistributions of plunder. The once glorious city was gradually turning into ruins. But our timid Colonel managed to show himself to very good advantage at this new job – he avoided juicy scandals and rather farsightedly avoided souring relations with the most influential robbers. When some of his influential townsmen started to work in the capital of the former Empire, they invited our hero to shift his positions too.

Yet The Dream of quiet European life hasn’t left him. “After resigning from the office I could find some stable European company and take up a managerial position”, these were his thoughts. But he had to work for a while in order to get useful connections and acquaintances, make a better service record. And then, hopefully, the house wouldn’t be too small and the work wouldn’t be too tedious…

Our hero was very surprised to see his career develop as rapidly as it did in the capital of the Former Empire. The timid Colonel happened to fit the bill. He perfectly suited the scene not encroaching upon the powers that be. He was promoted from one executive position to another without making something outstanding, just playing it smooth until one day he was nominated prime-minister. In the short run, after the ageing president who used to hit the bottle resigned our hero again turned out to be the best man for the job.

The Colonel didn’t strive for power, neither did he seek publicity. His experience with the secret service taught him to be a commonplace person. He was bewildered to find his own portraits hanging here and there. But with time he got used to and even got to like that. He even learned to make furious face and wag finger at his subordinates, make borderline jokes and pat little babies in public. In one word, he mastered all the skills needed in his country to be a successful state leader.

Now and then emergency situations happened in the country – something sank, exploded or burned. In such cases the president vanished for several days and after the crisis was over, he commented on something sinking, exploding, burning, whatever. He then called his people to continue peaceful life and consolidate society around the supreme authority and its representatives. Sometimes he had to ban some products originating from all over the former Empire: smoked fish from the north or red wine from the south – frankly speaking, the Colonel couldn’t understand why he had to do so. Anyway this had no effect on the Colonel’s dietary for he got the food from more remote territories.

Now and then some people were killed. And the President had to put on his furious grimace and promise to punish the guilty. If many people were killed at a time President’s face and voice had to be more furious than usually; and when his subjects began to exterminate each other the President was to remind them of their higher mission to serve the supreme authority.

Putting in a nutshell, events took their course…

But the Colonel’s European Dream didn’t let go. Being the President of a vast country he was known all over the world and had all the useful acquaintances. The Colonel kept company with the most powerful politicians of the world and executives of the world’s largest corporations. The Dream was as near as ever. And the cozy little house was gradually transforming into a solid villa as the Colonel was coming to seing himself in charge of one of the world’s biggest corporations.

Yes, now The Dream was nigh at hand. His term was expiring and the Outgoing President was looking forward to a new start he had been longing for.

Alas, the Administration had different plans. The court bureaucrats and sage experts became more sullen as the presidential term was coming to its end. “How shall we cope without You, Your Presidential Majesty? You should stay another term,” said powers behind the throne.

“But the Constitution demands…” the colonel tried to protest. “I did everything you told me to do – now it’s time for me to quit”.

But the powers behind the throne were adamant to entreaties. “We will change the Constitution… for you to stay. Mind you that people got used to seeing you every time something explodes or gets burnt. What shall we say to the people?!”

“I am tired. I am not young. Can I have rest?!” persisted the President.

“No, you can not” answered the monotone chorus, “you are stability. Thus, you will stay”.

The Colonel couldn’t sleep, he was haunted by nightmares. He took a walk in the dark night but it didn’t help. The little man in a grey suite was locked up in the endless corridors of The Ancient Palace. His predecessors: ancient tyrants and ferocious heroes of the past stared at him from the old canvas following his every step. “You are one of us and there is no way out for you – a King cannot resign…”        

The Brave Colonel stood in awe…

The end of this store is not evident to me. The official documents of that period are incomplete and conflicting, so the only credible source is legends and folk tales. People say, the timid Colonel disappeared in the catacombs of The Ancient Palace. Some say he was mured up in the throne room, only his head left visible. And years after one could see The Head make correct political statements on TV.

It should be said that some sources propose more optimistic pay-off. Allegedly, there is a nice house with a tile roof somewhere in Central Europe. The house is located near a beautiful lake and has a pretty garden. Every morning an elderly man comes to the lake. They say the man resembles one of the former presidents of The Once Great Empire.

When hailed by the name the old man starts to embarrassedly nod but hurries to go away murmuring something about sunken boats and burnt towers.

Boris Kagarlitsky is a Director of The Institute for Globalization Studies

November 13, 2006