KEVIN O'FLYNN, MOSCOW
THE TERRIBLE C-WORD
The cri… no the word will not be uttered. Now that President Medvedev and Prime Minister Putin have finally allowed themselves to belatedly use the word, it’s becoming increasingly difficult for me to spit it out of these lips.
It’s c-this and c-that. If there was C-Span in Russia then it would be c-ing all day and all night long. I am finding myself stopping on the edge of the word, mouth slightly open like a surprised goldfish.
There are plenty of other possibilities; one press person from a company told me that her company did not use the word but referred to the “financial situation” which sounds like euphemisms used by warring couples.
“Now that we are over Jeff’s little trouble,” said Janet, talking of the case of him, the 17 year old waitress from Hard Rock café and her sister.
Russia’s “little trouble” or “financial situation” are too mealy mouthed but the catastrophe, the emergency or the abyss are too impressive to replace the c-word which is a mere adolescent in their company who can only hope to grow up to be one of the three.
To give Mr. C credit, he has somehow gained a definite article that makes him seem more solid.
The article may be definite but what it is in reality seems still to be amorphous for many people. An acquaintance who works for a large Russian company with more debt than Germany in 1919, was badgering me for information on when things were going to get better; when you start taking financial advice from journalists, it’s time to get another job.
The worst thing about the word that shall not be named is that it seems to appear everywhere like a miserable mirage in reverse. No plastic cups in the local coffee shop, "It's come for my caffeine now," a channel runs a rehashed of a show, “It’s climbed into my goggle box.“
Admittedly a 25 per cent drop in the ruble is no mirage and when x tells me of how y will soon sack z’s of employees that is more sobering but no clarity or understanding comes from the word. It’s a stamp that absolves any explanation.
The word is not doing its job to express what the hell is going on right now and frankly measures should be taken in this time of cutbacks and reducing of workforces. The c-word should be sacked.
If its good enough for a few thousand metal workers in Siberia, then we can deal with a little up start of a word that had never turned up to work for the last ten years.
Dear Mr. C, You do not correctly explain the utter mess that the world is currently in and we are going to have to let you go. I’m sure the OED will let you settle back in between “Cripes” and “Crisp.”
We will not give any redundancy pay in these times of need, nay cr, no, not you again, in this financial situation.
In the meanwhile, to fill the gap in the language, we should advertise on all the best sites for a new word to take over.
Something that will explain all that is happening, preferably onomatopoeic and easy on the ear. My suggestion is Pfffthhpp although it does seem to fail on two of the three set criteria.
Kevin O'Flynn, a British freelance journalist based in Moscow
December 8, 2008
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